Archive for the ‘Sarcasm’ Category

Take the award or face prison?
April 21, 2009

When people in power believe that all their achievements are due to “good fortune” which in other words mean “being at the right place at the right time” they can never accept that some people actually earn it through hard work. Sports Minister S.S. Gill believes so, so does Arjun Singh. I guess most of the Congress loyalists believe so because they have earned it through their loyalty to somebody.

But to say “YOU take MY national award the way I want it, or it stands withdrawn”, Mr Gill has proved that there DOES exist a soft-Taliban as Mr Obama believes. Just imagine, what is the next probable step:

On gun point, you take the National award or go to jail?

Where is the perpetual machine?
April 21, 2009

I always knew these guys have a sound metaphysical backing of what they are promising. After all, promises presuppose an absolute method -may not be proven yet – but a conviction that there is a logical method to prove it. When Mr Tata promised to manufacture a car in the India -at the same price as the Europeans manufacture their cars’ audio systems – he had envisioned a method to do it. It surely cannot come out of thin air, can it?

Years ago, when I was going through the Atlas Shrugged for the first time, I was excited to read about the self perpetuating machine called the Galt’s motor. Not that I was excited about its feasibility in the real world because I could comprehend what it stood for in the novel. Galt not only had the temerity of thinking he could make a machine which runs on the environment (it used static electricity from the environment to run) and there by turning the metaphor ‘out of thin air’ on its head, but he actually made it run.

Now come on guys, bring out that machine and show it to all of us. We have a right to see along with the rights to eat, learn and be healthy. And have a little pity too, we are a socialist republic. Don’t just think about profit, it is such a dirty word. You think we are such fools we won’t realize, didn’t you? You will use the machine to create rice at zero cost and plan to sell it at Rupees 3(Congress manifesto) and Rupees 2(BJP manifesto) a kilo and thereby earning such enormous profits?

Umm, what do you mean there is no such machine? You mean rice still needs to be produced the conventional way? Whose money have you decided to spend then?

Political supermen
January 30, 2009

Rediff reports:

    Pranab takes charge of finance ministry”

The way the top brass of politicians are jumping from one ministry to another, there are only two inferences. Either they are super intelligent supermen, or that we do not really need ministers to run this country.

I really wish they were supermen. And if wishes were horses, we would be served, not ruled.

Indian culture and the protectors
January 29, 2009

So we have new self-proclaimed protectors of Indian culture coming up everyday. At this rate, soon Indian culture will have more protectors than followers. Cheers!

    “Rajasthan CM for ending pub and mall culture

Yes Mr Minister, we in India believe anything that is done in closed rooms is correct. Be it holding hands, sex, or just politics!

 

Update 1: At last, I found a connection between Indian culture and ‘men from Sri Ram Sena beating up women’.

Legend has it that Laxmana, the brother of Sri Ram, did cut the nose of Surpanakha for having the temerity to propose him. Obviously, that was not Indian culture and she did deserve a punishment.

So the guys from Sri Ram sena are only following tradition of attacking women who dont follow Indian culture.  QED.

 

Update 2: The Karnataka CM follows the tradition too.

    “We won’t allow pub culture: K’taka CM

IMO, the only culture we are good at is microbial which made us 1.3 billion and growing.

 

Update 3:  Oh, oh see who sees nothing wrong in boys and girls holding hands openly!

    “Sheila Dixit joins in”

Thanks a lot madam, for that. But not long ago you thought women were being adventurous if they moved around alone in Delhi post midnight.

Rich ‘must’ help poor?
January 28, 2009

Rediff reports Bill Gates saying:

    “Bill Gates: The rich must help the poor”

If I were poor, and I really am if I compare with him, I would take offence.

However, it turned out to be another case of putting the words in somebody’s mouth to create a cool headline by one of India’s premier websites.

He actually ‘urged’ the rich to help poor, which on the face of it, is not as terrible a statement.

But so it goes!